This Video Of Naomi Campbell Running Down The Cat Walk, Is My Pre-Workout
What Naomi Campbell Did For Women in 120 Seconds, "Barbie" Could Not Do in 120 Minutes.
I am transfixed by this video of Naomi Campbell in 2003, opening the DSquared2 F/W Show, set to AC/DC’s “Back in Black”.
The first time I watched it, I screamed.
I have since watched it a record 17 times in one sitting and—I’m not exaggerating—I believe, Namoi’s walk is the *key* to shattering the elusive “patriarchy” (whatever that even fucking means)!
Meeting up with your ex-boyfriend for coffee to get “closure” after hearing he’s seeing someone new? Watch this video.
Dreading asking your dickhead boss who undervalues you for a raise? Watch this video.
Getting conscripted to fight in the Vietnam war in 1969?!? Watch this video.
There’s not a single person who can convince me, for those 120 seconds, Naomi Campbell wasn’t the most powerful *person* in the world---let alone woman.
And herein lies the *true* threat nepo babies pose
Modeling is kind of…really dumb when Kendall Jenner does it. It’s like, not cool at all, actually. But culture is a time capsule and it’s bad news that history will look back on the 2020’s and be like “I guess the girl who cuts cucumbers weird was the moment”.
And I only say these kind of mean things, because I don’t think I will ever meet Kendall Jenner AND IF I DID, I would immediately retract this entire statement if she ever wanted to be my friend—but for the time being? I’m sticking to my guns!
Don’t get me wrong. Kendall Jenner’s hot, in the way, that I actually think any woman above a 6/10 is hot?
But just because she’s hot doesn’t mean she’s an artist.
Try as she may, on the runway—Jenner has, quite simply, zero presence, and when I’m reminded of how much she’s being paid to be there (at least minimum wage), I despair!
When Naomi Campbell is on the runway, modeling is a fucking art form. Full stop. In a red trucker cap, tits-out-halter-top, and brown booty shorts looped with a chunky western belt (an insane combo that frankly, fuckin’ slaps)—I have never seen a woman be a lighting rod the feminine essence better.
I watch Naomi Campbell walk and it’s like suddenly I get why men start wars for pussy they’ve never even *seen*. She struts as though, with every step, her heel just bitch slapped the face of the earth and the earth said “thank you”.
And even though, according to Barbie, it’s the fucking worst, I love being a woman, because it’s actually not.
I love it in moments when I’m helping my girlfriend craft a four-word text to a dude she’s never even met and doesn’t even like, but for some reason *needs to be obsessed with her* so we can get over the last loser. I love it when I gift myself the full 60 minutes to do my makeup because I actually showered when I said I would, so I have time to test that new *baking trick* my fave influencer swears by and it fucking works! I love it when I watch Naomi Campbell sprint down the catwalk, with the total reckless abandon of a woman who knows her power—who knows, that in every timeline, *this moment* was her destiny.
And where Kendall Jenner, on her best day, just makes me lament the life I could have had, if only I was Kris Jenner’s kid1— watching Naomi Campbell just walk makes me feel like it doesn’t matter how truly *banging* the body you were born with is…there’s something inherently sexy about being a woman because honestly, if nothing else!!!
I’m convinced, Naomi Campbell could be a foot shorter and gain 100 pounds and she’d still walk into every room like she’s the fuckin’ shit. Cause she is. It’s in her bones.
And by the way—it’s in yours too.
This piece would be in Vanity Fair instead of Substack.